Dear Minnasan,
Sort of a tough week. Not necessarily because of a lack of being busy (we
had lots of appointments this week) but mostly due to my own feelings. I feel
like I am not moving forward as well as I should. As fast as I could. I try to
remind myself what I have learned in the past, "It's about direction, not
speed," but it's still difficult to see where I could be, where I am now, and
the gap that lies between. But I guess that is the beauty of life, and I should
not get so frustrated over it.
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| T Shimai and Shimai Weigl |
Does anybody feel like that sometimes? Do you sometimes get this small
glimpse of what you could do, of what you could accomplish with the Lord’s help?
It’s absolute great, huh? To see yourself doing the things you’ve always wanted
to. Accomplishing the goals you’ve set for yourself. When you get those small,
precious glimpses of the success that lies just around the corner, it’s easy to
get all excited. It’s easy to want to get to work. But then, things get hard and
losing the ambition that you once had becomes pretty much inevitable.
This is a story I read that really taught me a lot about this:
“No one in our Utah town knew where the Countess had come from; her
carefully precise English indicated that she was not a native American. From the
size of her house and staff we knew that she must be wealthy, but she never
entertained and she made it clear that when she was at home she was completely
inaccessible. Only when she stepped outdoors did she become at all a public
figure—and then chiefly to the small fry of the town, who lived in awe of
her.
The countess always carried a cane, not only for support, but as a means of
chastising any youngster she thought needed disciplining. And at onetime or
another most of the kids in our neighborhood seemed to display that need. By
running fast and staying alert, I had managed to keep out of her reach. But one
day when I was about thirteen, as I was short-cutting through her hedge, she got
close enough to rap my head with her stick.
‘Ouch!’ I yelled, jumping a couple of feet. ‘Young man, I want to talk to
you,’ she said. I was expecting a lecture on the evils of trespassing, but as
she looked at me, half smiling, she seemed to change her mind.
‘Don’t you live in that green house with the willow trees in the next
block?’
‘Yes, ma’am.’
‘Good. I’ve lost my gardener. Be at my house Thursday morning at seven, and
don’t tell me you have something else to do; I’ve seen you slouching around on
Thursdays.’
When the Countess gave an order, it was carried out. I didn’t dare not come
on that next Thursday. I went over the whole lawn three times with a mower
before she was satisfied, and then she had me down on all fours looking for
weeds until my knees were as green as the grass. She finally called me up to the
porch.
‘Well, young man, how much do you want for your day’s work?’
‘I don’t know. Fifty cents, maybe.’
‘Is that what you figure you’re worth?’
‘Yes’m. About that.’
‘Very well. Here’s the fifty cents you say you’re worth, and here’s the
dollar and a half more that I’ve earned for you by pushing you. Now I’m going to
tell you something about how you and I are going to work together. There are as
many ways of mowing a lawn as there are people, and they may be worth anywhere
from a penny to five dollars. Let’s say that a three-dollar job would be just
what you have done today, except that you’d have to be something of a fool to
spend that much time on a lawn. A five-dollar lawn is—well, it’s impossible, so
we’ll forget about that. Now then, each week I’m going to pay you according to
your own evaluation of your work.’
I left with my two dollars, richer than I remembered being in my whole
life, and determined that I would get four dollars out of her the next week. But
I failed to reach even the three dollar mark. My will began to falter the second
time around her yard.
‘Two dollars again,’ eh? That kind of job puts you right on the edge of
being dismissed, young man.’
‘Yes’m. But I’ll do better next week.’
And somehow I did. The last time around the lawn I was exhausted, but I
found I could spur myself on. In the exhilaration of that new feeling, I had no
hesitation in asking the Countess for three dollars.
Each Thursday for the next four or five weeks, I varied between a three-and
a three-and-a-half dollar job. The more I became more acquainted with her lawn,
places where the ground was a little high or a little low, places where it
needed to be clipped short or left long on the edges to make a more satisfying
curve along the garden, the more I became aware of just what a four-dollar lawn
would consist of. And each week I would resolve to do just that kind of a job.
But by the time I had made my three dollar or three and-a-half dollar mark I was
too tired to remember even having had the ambition to go beyond that.
‘You look like a good consistent $3.50 man,’ she would say as she handed me
the money.
‘I guess so’ I would say, too happy at the sight of the money to remember
that I had shot for something higher.
‘Well, don’t feel too bad,’ she would comfort me. ‘After all, there are
only a handful of people in the world who could do a four-dollar job.’
And her words were a comfort at first, but then, without my noticing what
was happening, her comfort became an irritant that made me resolve to do that
four-dollar job, even if it killed me. In the fever of my resolve, I could see
myself expiring on her lawn, with the Countess leaning over me, handing me the
four dollars with a tear in her eye, begging my forgiveness for having thought I
couldn’t do it.
It was in the middle of such a fever, one Thursday night when I was trying
to forget the day’s defeat and get some sleep, that the truth hit me so hard
that I sat upright, half choking in my excitement. It was the five-dollar job I
had to do, not the four-dollar one! I had to do the job that no one could do
because it was impossible.
I was well acquainted with the difficulties ahead. I had the problem, for
example, of doing something about the worm mounds in the lawn. The Countess
might not even have noticed them yet, they were so small; but in my bare feet I
knew about them and I had to do something about them. And I could go on trimming
the garden edges with shears, but I knew that a five-dollar lawn demanded that I
line up each edge exactly with a yardstick and then trim it precisely with the
edger. And there were other problems that only I and my bare feet knew
about.
I started the next Thursday by ironing out the worm mounds with a heavy
roller. After two hours of that I was ready to give up for the day. Nine o’clock
in the morning, and my will was already gone! It was only by accident that I
discovered how to regain it. Sitting under a walnut tree for a few minutes after
finishing the rolling, I fell asleep. When I woke up minutes later, the lawn
looked so good and felt so good under my feet, I was anxious to get on with the
job.
I followed this secret for the rest of the day, dozing for a few minutes
every hour to regain my perspective and replenish my strength. Between naps, I
mowed four times, two times lengthwise, two times across, until the lawn looked
like a green velvet checkerboard. Then I dug around every tree, crumbling the
big clods and smoothing the soil with my hands, then finished with the edger,
meticulously lining up each stroke so that the effect would be perfectly
symmetrical. And I carefully trimmed the grass between the flagstones of the
front walk. The shears wore my fingers raw, but the walk never looked
better.
Finally about eight o’clock that evening … it was all completed. I was so
proud I didn’t even feel tired when I went up to her door.
‘Well, what is it today?’ she asked.
‘Five dollars,’ I said, trying for a little calm and sophistication.
‘Five dollars? You mean four dollars, don’t you? I told you that a
five-dollar lawn job isn’t possible.’
‘Yes it is. I just did it.’
‘Well, young man, the first five-dollar lawn in history certainly deserves
some looking around.’
We walked about the lawn together in the light of evening, and even I was
quite overcome by the impossibility of what I had done.
‘Young man,’ she said, putting her hand on my shoulder, ‘What on earth made
you do such a crazy, wonderful thing?’
I didn’t know why, but even if I had, I could not have explained it in the
excitement of hearing that I had done it.
‘I think I know,’ she continued, ‘How you felt when this idea first came to
you of caring for a lawn that I told you was impossible. It made you very happy
when it first came, then a little frightened. Am I right?’
She could see she was right by the startled look on my face.
‘I know how you felt, because the same thing happens to almost everyone.
They feel this sudden burst in them of wanting to do some great thing. They feel
a wonderful happiness, but then it passes because they have said, ‘No, I can’t
do that. It’s impossible.’ Whenever something in you says, ‘It’s impossible,’
remember to take a careful look and see if it isn’t really God asking you to
grow an inch, or a foot, or a mile, that you may come to a fuller life.’ …
Since that time, some 25 years ago, when I have felt myself at an end with
nothing before me, suddenly, with the appearance of that word,‘impossible,’ I
have experienced the unexpected lift, the leap inside me, and known that the
only possible way lay through the very middle of impossible.
Sometimes I feel like that little boy, who is stuck always doing a 3 dollar
lawn job. Just stuck being my average self, unable to do any more or less than
what I am doing already. But I don't want to be that kind of Gardner. I want to
do the impossible. I want to get that Five Dollars. I want to look at the Lord
one day and say, ‘Yes it is, I just did it.’
Just like the boy in the story, the solution to reaching the five dollar
lawn, to accomplishing the impossible, has two steps. The first, having a
vision. Seeing the"big picture" having a glimpse of what can be accomplished,
and then holding onto that constantly, taking times, throughout our life to
contemplate it, and remember our vision. Our goal.
I sometimes forget the "big picture" of my mission here in Japan - to find
those ready to hear the gospel and invite them into the fold. To help them
receive Eternal Life and Salvation to their souls. When I forget that, it
becomes impossible to keep moving forward. I become like that boy, tired and
sweaty on the lawn, ready to give up and receive his three dollars. But that's
when we need to go take a rest under our own trees of life and evaluate what’s
the real reason we here. The goal. The five dollars. Doing the Impossible.
When we have that vision firmly grasped, it moves us to the second step of
the process: Hard work. Nothing good ever comes easy, but the outcome, the
reward as it were, makes all the work and effort worth it. It is easy to get
bogged down by how much we still have to do. To want to stop because of how
tired we are. The sun is too hot, I still have so much to do. But let us think
of the goal. Let us each work hard, and stick it out to the end. As it says in
Mosiah 4:27, "And again, it is expedient that he should be diligent, that
thereby he might win the prize."
Let us each be diligent.
Let us each work hard.
Let us each do the impossible, for with God, all things are possible.
Sister Weigl
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| We get bed frames - no more sleeping on the floor! |
FIVE QUESTIONS:
1. Anything different happen with the ward, investigators, or your area this week?
We met with a lot of previous investigators (all men), so we had to have a lot of members come with us -- since we are sisters we are not allowed to meet with a man by ourselves for obvious reasons. It's sort of weird, because I've only really taught women up till this point.
2. One funny thing that happened this week?
Hmmmm....not exactly funny, but WE GOT BEDS FROM THE MEMBERS! YAY! Our futons were getting really moldy because we don't have tatami flooring (only wood) so in the morning the floor would always be a bit wet (sort of like dew). But they are so comfortable.
3. One sad thing that happened this week?
Well, we had an appointment with this guy at the church, but it fell through because he said he had to go into work suddenly.
4. One thing that you learned this week from your companion?
To try our best to become better missionaries everyday. She wants so much to serve with all her heart, might, mind, and strength.
5. One thing that you wish you had done different this week?
Be more happy and smile more! I find myself sort of just going through the motions sometimes instead of enjoying every moment.
